Body Work – Part 2: Paunch and Cookies

I didn’t gain weight in the normal way, by increasing in size all over my body. No, my face was not pudgy and cherubic, my legs and arms were not voluptuous and Rubenesque, and sadly I haven’t had buttocks since the mid-1990s.

All of my weight gain was perched conspicuously as a big, round, solid ball right in the center of my belly, an unholy marvel of cantilever engineering. If for no other reason that this, it was no wonder my spine was a wreck. From the front I looked reasonably normal. In profile, though, I looked like an albino Biafran refugee – I only lacked the requisite flies crawling on my eyeballs to complete the disturbing picture.

Although I must confess that during my two months of R&R I was unable to completely eradicate my newfound habit of solitary eating and television, it had much improved. But the weight was not going away.

Concerned about what might be nascent diabetes, I started reading about low-glycemic-impact diets. After some rooting around and investigation, I picked up a copy of The Glycemic Load Diet by Rob Thompson, M.D. He describes a syndrome that is becoming increasingly common in the modern United States: insulin resistance. It is characterized by hard belly fat, accompanied by bad cholesterol numbers, sketchy blood glucose, and high blood pressure, and can be a precursor to diabetes. You might say that by the end of the description he had my attention.

He goes into fascinating detail as to the genesis of the disorder, and how the increase in wheat and other starch consumption (as well as the sugar in sodas) has caused this condition to proliferate in recent years. And he explains at length how these symptoms can be arrested and reversed by The Glycemic Load Diet and regular, gentle walking. He contrasts the Glycemic “Load” approach with the Glycemic “Index” used by other similar diet plans, and convincingly shows why Glycemic Load is a better indicator than the Glycemic Index. By the middle of the book, I found myself tossing starches and sugar out of the pantry, and running to the store to stock up on meat, poultry, fish, dairy, and lots and lots of non-starchy vegetables.

The first evening I started the diet, having not yet augmented my pantry, I ate the only foods in the house that fit the diet plan (I’m ashamed to say): Dry Roasted Almonds and Cottage Cheese.

In the middle of the night, I had a severe reaction, one that felt like food poisoning, although it didn’t last nearly as long as a typical bout of food poisoning. It was done in an hour or two. And I have no idea if it was associated with the change in diet or just a craptacular coincidence. I can’t think of any reason why the food I ate might have caused such a reaction, and I’ve eaten the nuts since the episode without incident.

I lost five pounds overnight. Such weight, obviously water weight, usually comes back after a day or so of rehydration. But oddly, this weight did NOT come back. Continuing to follow the diet plan and adding a gentle regimen of daily walking, I’m continuing to lose weight slowly without any sense of deprivation or hunger (because the diet is not calorie- or fat-controlled, only starch- and sugar-controlled). Time will tell what the impact of the added meat and dairy will do to my cholesterol, and I may have to eventually tweak the diet in that regard, but the weight loss and already-visible change in my gut are encouragement enough to keep me on the plan for the time being.

As an aside, one of my “go-to” foods over the past three years has been a comforting whole-wheat cereal, often consumed right at bed time for maximum comfort. And my personal food pyramid over the past 10 years has always featured whole grains (predominantly wheat) at the base, because of dietary research I’d done previously. Dr. Thompson explains that the increase in wheat consumption over the last 40 years has directly paralleled the obesity epidemic, and that while whole wheat has more vitamins and fiber than processed white flour, it still creates glucose spikes as great as those of white-flour products. Finally, he points out that while many youngsters tend to get their sugar from sugary sodas, most adults (like me) tend to get it from wheat-packed baked goods and cereals – often “low fat” these days. “Paunch and Cookies” indeed!

Eliminating wheat (among other starches) from my diet immediately resolved some long-standing gastrointestinal problems of mine, including a nasty case of acid reflux. Coincidence? I doubt it. I imagine that in addition to insulin resistance I may have been suffering from an allergy or other intolerance to wheat products (perhaps exacerbated by my frequent exposure to the delicious, comforting whole-wheat cereal).

Time will tell whether this diet is a panacea for me – but for the time being, my energy and focus are better than they have been in years, I’ve kept that five pounds off and am still losing weight slowly, my blood pressure is suddenly moving toward normal, and I don’t think anyone will convince I’m on the wrong track.

Body Work - Part 1: Spinal Trap

Up until now I’ve been focusing quite a bit on the Mind. That’s important for me, because my mind causes the majority of my problems in a typical day. I’m actually blessed in that way – many people are never able to work on their minds, being too distracted by bodies racked with constant pain, savagely marked by disfigurement, or beset with disabling illness.

But as you may recall from an earlier posting, my Body took quite a beating from the job I left back in February. In the three years I was there, I had not darkened the doors of a gym a single time (in spite of paying for my membership religiously), I had succumbed to the off-hours comfort of solitary eating and television, and worked long hours in an environment of chronic stress and wicked ergonomics. I was perched motionless in front of my computer screen for hours on end as if I’d been assimilated into the Borg - "Resistance is irrelevant." It’s a wonder I was still alive after years of such terrible abuse.

I had gained 40 pounds during my tenure at that job. My gut looked like it held a bowling ball; I had lost any semblance of normal energy; my muscles were so clenched from constant stress and computer use that an hour-and-a-half message session did little to ease my discomfort. One hapless, exhausted massage therapist asked me at the conclusion of a session: “What are you made of??!”

Beyond that, my cholesterol had skyrocketed, my triglyceride count was astronomical, my fasting glucose levels were inching up to the edge of “elevated” and my blood pressure, always normal even under considerable duress, had finally escalated into the “high” territory. Given my family’s extensive history of diabetes and hypertension, the overall picture was – to put it mildly – alarming.

My primary care physician had administered a statin and a water pill, but they seemed to be only marginally effective at normalizing the disturbing numbers. My problem was a body in severe decay, stressed in ways it was not designed to endure.

My immediate need upon departing the job was serious R&R. My estimate had been that it would take about two months to get back to “normal.” Let’s just say it: I underestimated. After two months, I was still 40 pounds overweight, still had high blood pressure, still had alarming blood chemistry, and was only starting to get some energy back.

One good decision I made as I was getting ready to leave my job was to enlist the services of a terrific chiropractor – Dr. Ken Lounsbury of Inner Balance Chiropractic here in San Diego. He, too (it turns out), underestimated the severity of my problems, but graciously agreed to take me on as a client.

And he, too, inquired after the first session as to my composition. He said, knocking on a wooden table, “Adjusting you is like trying to adjust this.” I knew my neck muscles were tight and sore, my legs were like rocks, and my neck hurt a little bit – but these symptoms had existed for so long – much longer than the three years I was at that job – that I had forgotten what “normal” was. Grabbing a hold of the granite knots in my shoulders, he said that normally these muscles are reasonably soft and pliant, even without adjustment. Attempting in vain to adjust my upper back, he said, “Normally I can give a patient immediate and noticeable relief with this adjustment – You, I can’t budge.”

He was as gentle as he could possibly be, considering the extent of the damage and injury. He used a powerful massage unit in his attempt to achieve movement in some of the affected areas. At times it felt like he was heaving boulders at my back (although honestly the experience was not really painful because the muscles were just too damn tight to register pain). And he smeared the muscles with a powerful SOMBRA deep-heating gel that most people say heats the area for many hours – I barely felt the heat for more than an hour. He repeated these strenuous treatments a couple of times a week for the first two months of slow progress, gradually encouraging movement in new areas with tools and devices I had never seen before.

The only real pain came when he pounded my chest to release my breastbone. He said, “In normal people, this area moves.” I honestly had no idea.

Nearly four months later, I’m down to weekly sessions, my shoulder muscles are actually reasonably soft in spite of my renewed computer activity, my leg muscles are starting to release, and my neck, although still painful, is clearly making progress. I took giddy pleasure at his recent compliment: “You’re almost like adjusting a human being now!”

He’s augmented my adjustments with targeted stretching, and the progress and improvement in my energy and well-being are obvious. For any readers who are similarly confined to a computer workstation, I recommend the kind of highly-targeted chiropractic Ken Lounsbury performs wholeheartedly.

A number of my friends initially discouraged me from consulting a chiropractor, saying “You ought to go to a ‘real’ doctor," as unintentionally insulting as that advice was. And in fact, I didn’t even bother consulting my primary care physician, because so often their evaluation of chiropractors is simply flat-out derogatory and prejudicial. I just made a decision and stuck with it. I am so glad I did. I’m not the same crippled wreck who hobbled into Dr. Ken's office, and it was all done without drugs or medication of any kind.

Dr. Ken told me that chiropractors used to be consulted as much for immune ailments as for spinal problems – such was the power of their craft. He said, “I’ll take care of your aches and pains, and enhance your immune function for free.” In fact, it appears that much fewer people who receive regular chiropractic care ever come down with the flu. I cannot attest to this from personal experience, and I plan to continue getting my annual flu vaccination.

As is true with every post on my blog, I’ll repeat it: Your mileage may vary. You may wish to consult your physician before plunging into chiropractic. You will want to do your own research. And you may not achieve the results I’m achieving. But I can’t deny the power of my personal experience. This stuff is working -- like gangbusters.

In the next post, I’ll address the curious bowling ball in my gut.

It’s All in Your Mind – Part 3: Changing Your Thinking

I suppose I should state this title in the first person: Changing My Thinking, because that’s the only thinking I know how to change. But I do now have some experience with the practice of changing my thinking, and can testify that it works. Non-constructive thought processes once ingrained so deeply in my mind that they seemed unshakable have begun to shift profoundly. And I know the secret to such change, at least for me: It happens one thought at a time.

In some ways, it’s as if we humans are “choosing machines,” geared to perform one single task over and over for the entire length of our days; and that task is to decide what we are going to do next. I’ve heard it said that in between the words “Next, I’m going to…” and what follows is infinity. We are able to make such decisions – in fact, we cannot stop ourselves – and we can decide to do anything we want. Moment by moment, day in and day out, we decide what we are going to do next; it could be argued that this is all we do with our minds besides overseeing the completion of the chosen tasks themselves. When I accept this fact, and understand completely that I am responsible for each of the choices I make, I come face to face with infinity and discover how powerful I truly am!

Think about it: “Next, I’m going to do the dishes.” Then I do the dishes. At that point, my life truly is a blank slate, because it is absolutely up to me what follows. For example, I can follow that with “Next, I’m going to contemplate for a moment how nice it is to have clean dishes.” Or, I can follow that with “Next, I’m going to resent the fact that my spouse did not clean the dishes I just washed.” The choice, truly, is mine.

Each of these decisions carries its own set of consequences. I do not always know the consequences in advance. Perhaps the consequences of the second decision are that I passive-aggressively punish my spouse by refusing to talk about my anger, and it finally escalates into a messy confrontation with my lazy spouse. Just as easily, though, my wounded silence may be understood by my sensitive spouse, who decides to pitch in and clean the toilets, easing my resentment. (It could happen!)

But perhaps the consequence of the first decision, seemingly so sweet and benign, is that my moment of blissful contemplation makes me late picking up my spouse at the airport, and I end up having to endure an angry tirade (one that I cannot shake the feeling that I deserve). Or just as easily, my moment of contemplation could prevent me from being in a nasty traffic collision on the way to the airport, which might have happened if I’d left on time.

Here’s the point: I cannot know the consequences of my decisions, whether they are well intentioned or not. The consequences will always be what they will be, and I am not responsible for them. But I am always responsible for how I respond to those consequences.

I observe the consequences – and there I am again, right back at the same place: “Next, I’m going to…” and I make another decision. My spouse has the angry tirade, which deep down I feel I deserve, and I say to myself “Next, I’m going to defensively justify my tardiness with a lie about the traffic.” Then something happens after that, I make my next decision, and on and on it goes.

Because we are time-bound creatures, such sequential decision making is inescapable. It sounds exhausting as I’ve described it, but most have it down to a fine art, having long ago created mental “short cuts” that allow us to get through most of our lives without realizing how grueling this process really is. It’s these “short cuts” that allow us to function without being overwhelmed by the sheer volume of decision making we would otherwise have to do if we really paid attention to each decision.

And there’s the rub: These short cuts, which make life endurable, are often the source of our greatest suffering. Most of them were developed when we were very young, impacted by dysfunctional family systems and immature thought processes. By the time we are old enough and experienced enough to make proper, wise decisions, the non-resourceful short cuts seem immutably in place.

The truth I have found, perhaps sadly because of the time and effort involved, is that nothing will allow me to circumvent these automatic short cuts in thinking better than casting the light of Awareness upon them, consciously realizing that they don’t work anymore, and, one thought at a time, deciding to make different choices intentionally.

Just as they are built up by repetition, they are dismantled by repetition. And the process is, in the highest sense of the word, a practice. It is never perfected, but it does improve. In fact, the less I worry about the improvement and focus on the practice itself, the better it works!

As my spiritual guide so often chants at me: “Practice, practice, practice.” Forget the results. Just focus on the practice of right thinking, one thought at a time. I cannot change the way my neurons are wired – that’s up to a bigger Hand than mine. My job is to practice.

Another way of stating this is that “the journey is the destination.” Or “it’s about the process not the results.” I have decided that this is the true meaning of Jesus’ words “Seek and ye shall find”: When you seek, you’ve already found, because “finding” isn’t the goal – one cannot arrive at “ultimate” things. The real goal is a lifetime of humble, honest seeking.

So today and every day, I create a humble practice of watching my thoughts. I determine if they are worthy and effective, and if they aren’t, I observe curiously to see why I would continue thinking that way. That curious observation is the key to change - as Bill Harris says, “I cannot do anything that is not resourceful with Awareness.” I find this is absolutely true, that awareness causes dysfunctional thinking to fall away, sometimes slowly, revealed at last in its garments of utter uselessness.

I believe this is the key to curing any bad mental habit. It’s slow, sometimes tedious, and halting at best in its improvement. Some days I take one step forward and three steps back. But over time, the results beat anything else I have every tried, from religion, to therapy, to group encounters, to medicine, to anything. Once I realize I’m responsible, I know it can change, and the answer is all in my mind.

It's All in Your Mind - Part 2: Holosync®

About a year and a half ago, a buddy of mine turned me on to a technology he had just discovered himself. This buddy, a technophile absolutely committed to being on the bleeding-edge of emerging technologies, had found a meditation tool that was different from anything he’d ever used before. Called Holosync®, it is a technology that uses binaural “beats” – caused by slightly different tones sent to each ear independently – to create brainwave patterns characteristic of very, very deep meditation.

Based on his enthusiasm, I visited the Centerpointe web site, and did some investigation of my own. I ordered the Free Demo CD they offer, but after a little more reading I was so impressed by the technology and the testimonials, that I went ahead and ordered the Awakening Prologue – the first level of the program itself. (By the way – I am not an affiliate of Centerpointe, nor am I paid to endorse their products. I am also not even qualified to describe it. Please, please visit their web site and do your own research before you decide to try it.).

The Prologue is divided into two thirty-minute sections – the “Dive” and the “Immersion.” The Dive systematically pushes your brain from waking “alpha” waves to the “delta” waves characteristic of deep sleep. The Immersion portion maintains these delta wave patterns for thirty minutes. The binaural “beat” tones used to create these wave patterns create neural connections between the two hemispheres of the brain that allow the brain to function, again, in ways characteristic of those who meditate deeply for a very long period of time. Each successive level of the program changes the “carrier frequency” of the binaural tones, such that the neural connections continue to develop and grow –creating (according to Centerpointe) the brain function of 40-year Zen masters in a relatively short period of time.

The effects of these CDs on brain development is demonstrated by Centerpointe using brain scans, comparing those of “normal” people to the scans of Zen masters and those who had used the Holosync® technology. The technological underpinnings of Holosync® are extensively elaborated on the Centerpointe web site, and beyond the purview of this brief synopsis – I urge you to take some time to investigate their fascinating site.

What I experienced when I first tried the Awakening Prologue was shocking, to say the least. A little background might help.

I have always considered myself a failure at meditation. I am “blessed” with a mind so agile and active that turning it off for such necessary things as sleep and vacation has always proven difficult. So meditation has always challenged me. I would sit and play a soothing CD with headphones, and certainly didn’t move for thirty minutes or more, but my mind! Oh, the humanity! Chattering like a monkey and snapping me frustratingly from topic to topic beyond even my slightest control, my mind would just not let go.

In the first session of the thirty-minute “Diving” portion of the Awakening Prologue, I experienced a level of meditation so deep that it left me, literally, slack-jawed. The best part – it was effortless! I just sat with the headphones on, and the CD did all the work. I understood from their literature that I didn’t need to focus on my breathing, chant a mantra, or even try to control my thoughts at all – the binaural beats performed all the necessary changes in my brain without further effort on my part.

The experience of Holosync®, for me, was not entirely pleasant. I actually feel “pushed” by the CDs – the tones create an odd feeling of pressure in my head that was so unlike anything I had experienced before that it was a trifle unsettling. After awhile, I notice sounds in the CDs that were not apparent to me in the first few hearings. I have no idea what’s happening in my brain when I use this, but it’s as if the “pressure” is caused by the fact that my brain is trying to process stimuli that are so unknown to it that it knows no other sensation to associate with it besides “pressure.” As the appropriate neuronal connections develop over the first few hearings, previously imperceptible details and nuances begin to become audible. It’s a very odd and fascinating experience.

I understand that everyone reacts differently to the experience of Holosync®. Some have headaches; some apparently develop intellectual “obsessions” (say, a fascination with poetry); others have nausea or other physical responses. Some find it simply deeply relaxing. The latter, apparently, are those who do not “fight” the experience, and simply surrender to the process. The Centerpointe team provides wonderful customer support, assisting users through the mental and physical phenomena they experience as the technology does its work. And Bill Harris, the originator of Holosync®, sends a surprising amount of explanatory literature to clarify the effects of the technology – as well as fascinating insights into the realm of “Enlightenment.”

Having used the program now for the last year and a half, taking occasional hiatuses to allow the effects of the technology to “settle in” and to minimize the occasional physical symptoms characteristic of “quantum leaps” in personal development, I have observed my mind changing in ways I could not have predicted.

The result of Holosync®, according to Bill Harris, is a phenomenal increase in Awareness. And that has been my experience. I am able to observe my mind and its responses to stimuli in a manner that I never have before. I am able to apply lessons in spiritual development with much greater ease.

An example: I have a debilitating need to be right. When a situation arises in which I “know the answer” – particularly when others have just given the wrong answer – I’m like a kid in class, waving my hand madly to get the teacher’s attention. Since using Holosync®, I have been able to observe the action of my Ego in such situations, understand the sheer suffering caused for me and others by the action of my Ego in such situations, and – get this! – actually let go of my need to be right! The outward expression of this is unremarkable – I simply keep my damn mouth shut. But the inward expression of this change is astounding – my mind is at peace, I understand exactly what’s going on, and allow the other person to be right, without any emotional investment in the process. If that had been the only change since using Holosync®, it would have been well worth the price. But I also find myself more articulate (particularly in spiritual areas), better able to let go of the ceaseless chatter of my “monkey mind,” and more motivated to use this Awareness in other dysfunctional areas of my life.

Of course, your mileage may vary. Not everyone enjoys the action of this technology, and some of my friends who have tried it find the physical symptoms too troublesome to endure. As I said, I have had to stop from time to time because of headaches and other discomforts. But as for me, the upside has far outweighed the downside, and I have since signed up wholeheartedly to their “Inner Circle” – those who order the whole shebang (all levels of the program) at once. Every single piece of “wealth potential” literature I have ever read begins with the same advice: You’ve got to change your Mind. With Holosync® and a little bit of time, I am experiencing a truly changed mind, and perhaps more importantly, the willingness to keep on changing.

I’ll likely continue to discuss “Changing Your Mind” in upcoming posts. Understanding that my mind – clearly and obviously the source of all my problems – can actually be changed (as simple as that sounds) has been life-changing for me.

It's All in Your Mind - Part 1: I Am Responsible

“Thoughts are Things.” This is a central tenet of many so-called “New Age” religions. In fact, if you’ve seen “The Secret” you’ll hear that in reality thoughts are everything.

What does this mean? In a nutshell, it means that we create our own reality. Remember that axiom I introduced you to earlier: “I am Responsible”? Well, this is another way of taking that axiom to yet another absurd conclusion that can change your life in a quantum manner.

I found that when I (even temporarily pretend to) accept this tenet and pay attention, I see a lot to prove it: I’ve watched circumstances, events, and people entering my life that reinforce my beliefs – even (and in my case, perhaps especially) the “negative” ones.

The key to seeing how this works has been getting honest about my beliefs. I may give lip service to being an intelligent, successful, highly capable person, but if I baffle myself by making self-destructive decisions that detract substantially from the quality of my life, I find I need to dig a little deeper. And when I do, I invariably find that lurking in the shadows are beliefs like “I don’t deserve to be happy when so many are suffering”; “I should be ashamed for having so much when others are in need”; and if I dig really deep I might even uncover the unlovely “I’m just no damn good.”

These thoughts seem hard-coded, at least at first. And in fact, they may well be hard-coded, deeply rooted in the subconscious. But if I pay attention to them, and honestly watch how they play out in my self-destructive decisions, I end up understanding a powerful Truth: What I believe most deeply governs my behavior, and in the process creates the circumstances around me.

In my case, I inherited (or more likely rehearsed into existence as a child) some contradictory beliefs that explain the complexity of my circumstances. On one hand, I had my mom telling me “You can be anything you want” and “You’re so smart!” On the other hand, both she and my dad helped me rehearse messages like “You’re so lazy” and “Why do you have to be so stupid?” It made for a confusing pool of core beliefs, and resulted in a terribly neurotic but reasonably successful adult.

A dear friend and spiritual guide once nailed it on the head. He said: “You use Shame like a drug!” And he was right – I resorted to Shame every time I had a success to “keep myself in line”; I lingered in it an luxuriated in it endlessly; I rehearsed it and rehearsed it until I didn’t realize I was doing it to myself. I thought it was just “the way I am” – that I didn’t really choose to be ashamed, it just happened outside my control, like the weather. It was just a coincidence that the weather was always stormy.

Under his guidance, I began to observe my thoughts, and after awhile noticed that there was a short distance between “Point A” and “Point B” (Point A being “not ashamed” and Point B being “ashamed”). In that short distance, I began a downward spiral of thinking that took me to Point B. If I interrupted that spiral (something that took a lot of practice) I could avoid Point B altogether! And something amazing began to happen – I stopped using Shame like a drug! (Or perhaps more accurately, I couldn’t use Shame anymore without knowing I was doing it to myself.)

Awareness is a remarkable thing – once you are Aware, it is impossible to be completely Unaware ever again. This can be both a curse and a blessing – while it provides a foundation for revolutionary change, revolutionary change is itself unnerving and painful.

So I had to weigh for myself the discomfort of self-imposed misery against the challenge and discomfort of revolutionary change. And gratefully that old, old message “You can be anything you want to be” won out, and I began to choose revolutionary change.

The next post will talk about one of the most powerful agents of revolutionary change that I have ever experienced, a fascinating technology called Holosync^®.

More About Wealth

My journey into this realm of business opportunity came from reading Robert Kiyosaki’s incredible book Rich Dad Poor Dad. He describes the thought processes that distinguished his poor but well-educated biological father, and the wealthy father of one of his friends down the street. His “Rich Dad” taught him to use the power of his “financial imagination” to bring wealth. So when he found a “toy” that he wanted, his Poor Dad would say, “We can’t afford that” while his Rich Dad would encourage him to think “How can I afford that?” The difference is a mindset that distinguishes the wealthy from the poor. You can focus on lack, and by god, you’ll have it. Or, you can assume abundance, and your amazing mind will figure out a way to make it happen.

A powerful story from this book involves Rich Dad hiring Robert and his friend (the man’s son) to work at his convenience store for a pittance. Finally tiring of the grueling work at pitiful wages, he complained to his Rich Dad. His Rich Dad said that he could raise their pay rate a bit, but it wouldn’t help them change their situation. He suggested they use their imagination, and observe what’s going on around them to see opportunities. Armed with this scant guidance, they returned to work. Robert noticed that the clerk was ripping the covers off of comic books he usually paid dear money to read, and throwing them into a bin. Robert asked what happened to them. The clerk said the comics were old – that they were going to be destroyed. Robert asked if he could have them, and set up a lending library where his friends could come in and read as many comics books as they wanted for what it would normally cost them to buy ONE of the books. It was the sheer imagination of this child that began rocking my foundations, and I hope that simply reading this anecdote provides the impetus for you to acquire the book yourself. What might be possible in your life if you used your God-given imagination?

I was studying real estate at the time, and was encouraged to set up an LLC to protect my investments and maximize my earnings (more about this later). Reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People around this same time, I settled on the name “The First Habit, LLC” as I described in an earlier post. I began educating myself about passive revenue streams, a key component of “Rich Dad” wealth. His point: the poor buy liabilities that generate expenses. The wealthy buy assets that generate income passively. While the poor buy toys with their salaries, creating a never-ending “rat race,” the wealthy pay for their toys using that passive income. The difference is night and day. When your passive income equals your monthly expenses, you achieve financial independence. This is a very simplistic summary of the information in the book. By all means, I recommend that you buy the book and read it from cover to cover, multiple times if necessary.

The “Rich Dad” company produces a game that teaches the fundamentals of accounting and finance, and reinforces the passive income lesson – it’s called Cashflow 101. It’s a terrifically fun game, and although a tad expensive, it serves to train the players in ways of thinking like the wealthy that can change one’s perspective profoundly and permanently. You might just find yourself moving from lack to abundance – just by playing a game! (A little hint: Although I’ve included a link for the game on Amazon.com above, you may find it for less other places on the ‘Net, including here. But check with Amazon.com - sometimes you can get a "used" game for less.)

Back to the library: I was introduced to a book called Harmonic Wealth, by James Arthur Ray. He describes in detail the “Five Pillars of Wealth” – Financial, Mental, Physical, Relational, and Spiritual. He says that if each of these five pillars is not supported adequately, the entire edifice will fall. But if they are each carefully nourished and nurtured, they will act harmoniously to create a synergistic quality of Wealth. All Wealth begins with our thinking, and only by correcting our thinking can we move from lack and inadequacy to Wealth and Abundance. Keys to this process are in knowing one’s goals, and aligning one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions to achieve those goals. Again, this is a very simplistic rundown on a book that might change your life: I recommend sincerely that you spring a few bucks to get the real thing.

Money does not buy Happiness. Wealth buys Happiness. And Wealth is created by our thinking. These are key concepts that I’m sure I’ll revisit in future postings – stay tuned!

It's About Creating Wealth

I am reading an amazing series of books that is changing my perspective on money, perhaps for good and all. The consensus of these books, and the consensus of the people I am meeting in the process of setting up The First Habit, LLC, is that money is just a tool. It’s difficult to do things in the world without at least some of it, but at the bottom line, it’s no more than a way to acquire stuff. And “stuff” won’t make you happy, ever – not even a LOT of stuff.

Think of the “curse of the lottery” – so many people pinning their hopes on a huge wad of cash, only to be ruined after a relatively short time. Or dead. Money does not buy happiness. Money does not buy peace. Money does not buy contentment. Money buys stuff.

So what DOES buy happiness? Wealth. And from what I can tell, the distinction between “money” and “Wealth” is a matter of what’s happening between your ears.

Think of the many monetarily-challenged people who are happy and content. What’s their Secret? While it’s true that people below subsistence levels in lands that are challenged by weather and other natural catastrophes could hardly be considered happy, there are examples of people at subsistence levels of existence who exhibit profound joy. The difference, as far as I can tell, is an attitude, a way of thinking, a set of meanings assigned to one’s circumstances that creates Wealth – regardless of financial situation.

Back to the consensus of the books in my library: A life based on solid, universal principles buys happiness. It is relatively easy to come into a windfall of money, even at the odds of the Lottery. But building a life based on eternal principles like Honesty, Integrity, Open-mindedness, Compassion, Community, Generosity, Courage, Persistence, Self-Discipline, Commitment, Love, Forgiveness, Patience – THIS is the basis of a life that brings peace and joy. And, perhaps unfortunately for many, this is far more difficult than amassing a monetary fortune. It takes a lifetime of intentional effort, practice, and gradual progress toward ideals that are (in their ultimate form) unattainable in this life.

How can the pursuit of the unattainable possibly bring joy? At first glance (to a perfectionist such as myself), such a pursuit seems overwhelming, painful, dreary, and ultimately unsatisfying.

Again, we’re back to meanings. In the profound book Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, his experience in a concentration camp during WWII provides a clue. He compared the experiences (and survival rates) of people confined with him in a concentration camp, and came to understand a very important distinction: The survival of prisoners depended on the meanings they attached to their confinement – their attitudes. A quote: "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." In Frankl’s case, his own survival is attributed to a deeply seated conviction that he must survive this ordeal to make sure that it would never be forgotten, and that it never happened again. He quotes Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."

Sound familiar? “You cannot piss me off unless I decide to let you piss me off.” It’s about personal responsibility, and the ability of our amazing minds to choose the meaning of any given situation.

I can decide that spending a life based on chasing after impossible, unreachable ideals is a dreary burden. Or, I can decide that the process of practicing these ideals, as flawed and incomplete as it is, is actually the goal: the joyful work of a life filled with meaning and purpose. And from Frankl’s example, it seems that having a life with meaning and purpose is a key distinction between those who survive catastrophe with grace and power, and those who resign themselves (or relegate themselves) to misery and defeat.

It’s not about the money – it’s about creating true wealth – a life lived well, full of meaning and purpose, based on the pursuit of powerful eternal principles that make life truly satisfying. This is not a get-rich-quick scheme. It is the building of an edifice that will leave an expanding legacy of joy and peace and satisfaction long after we’re gone. And that’s what I’m about.

In the next post, I’ll talk a little bit more about wealth, and the library that I’m creating. It will be reading that is highly recommended, and my hope is that it will help others shake up their thinking as mine has been shaken, to its foundation.

It's Not About the Money

So I left the job that was killing me. No, let me word this precisely: I left the job I was using to kill myself.

Better wording still: I decided to stop destroying myself, and to that end, I decided to leave that job.

Why are these words so important? It’s all about personal responsibility. If there is anything I’ve learned, it’s that I am responsible. I’m responsible for the course of my life. I’m responsible for my decisions. I’m responsible for the results of those decisions. And perhaps most importantly, I am responsible for the meanings that I attached to the experience of my life as it unfolds.

Sound like a lot of bogus New Age fluff? Well, I submit it is the most empowering and practical approach to life possible. If you’ve read Stephen Covey’s amazing book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, you know that this statement, I am responsible, is underlying principle in the first Habit: Be Proactive.

I can assure you that I take this personal responsibility to what many might think to be its most absurd conclusion: No one can make me think or feel anything that I do not decide to think or feel myself. In other words, you cannot piss me off unless I decide to let you.

Think about it: What happens when someone says something “mean” to you? I can’t speak from your perspective, but when it happens to me, I choose to put a meaning to the situation that leads me to decide how I’ll react to it. If Nancy says, “You really messed up!” to me, I can decide that she means I’m a bad person, and choose to feel hurt. But I can just as easily choose to determine whether she has made a good point (Yes, indeed, I DID mess up), and treat the situation like a gift! Such a choice takes a lot of practice (and no, I’m not perfect by far), but it can be done. And the difference is life-changing. With practice I can respond to life and its uncomfortable moments intentionally – and make decisions based less on emotions and more on what is best for the situation.

When taken to that absurd conclusion, personal responsibility makes me invincible! I cannot be a victim if I don’t decide to be one. One of the messages of Buddhism is that I cannot lose anything if I have nothing to lose – no attachments. Well, if it doesn’t matter to my ego what you think of me, then how can you ever hurt me, or even affect me negatively at all? That’s power, baby, and all it takes is a little practice. (I’ll revisit the issue of practice in a future post.)

That’s why I stayed in that “killer” job as long as I did. I knew that I was responsible for the meanings I had assigned to that job: “The long hours are too hard.” “The Corporate office’s demands are too great.” “The problems here cannot be solved.” I chose those meanings, as much as I hate to admit it. And I made myself miserable with those meanings.

And that’s why I’ve formed “The First Habit, LLC.” It is a powerful, affirmative statement of my personal responsibility: For my finances, my time, my energies, my productivity, my legacy. It is the intentional renunciation of victimhood, once and for all. It is a concrete decision to pursue a life that is full in every way – free from imposed limits, as joyful and fulfilling as it can be. And if anyone doesn’t like that, well, too damn bad! Maybe they’ll be prodded to choose their own meanings a little more carefully.

As I’ve told a few friends in my close circle, “Oh, there will be money involved – I expect lots of it. But it’s not about the money.” Really, it’s about wealth – and money’s only a small portion of wealth. I’ll share more about that in the next post.