Sword of the Spirit – Part 3: Living Large

It’s not fun to watch yourself deteriorate mentally, physically, and spiritually. It certainly wasn’t fun for me. The result was a very small life, characterized by an endlessly repeated daily grind of working, eating, pooping, sleeping, and watching TV. Such a life is soulless, joyless, and seriously out of whack with the way we were designed to be.

So what flipped the trigger for me, what caused me finally to step away from the miserable grind? I think the first trigger, and one of the Universal Principles, was Honesty. I got honest about my situation, and became aware of what I was doing to myself. I am responsible.

Gratefully, throughout the duration of that impossible job, I kept myself surrounded with people who cared about me. As frustrated, overworked, physically depleted, and emotionally drained as I was, I never isolated myself from people who knew me well enough to remind me consistently of who I really am. I may have felt abused, fearful, weak, and victimized, but they persistently reminded me of the Truth that I am strong, connected to an infinite Power, and personally responsible. I credit these constant reminders with moving me out of my “stuckness.”

And that’s a powerful point about the Spiritual Life: We cannot do it alone. As human beings we are not designed to be the “Lone Ranger,” and the myth of “rugged individualism” so cherished in our culture is a perfect and utterly destructive LIE. If you believe that you are a rugged individualist, and that it is possible to drag yourself up by your own bootstraps and survive alone in the world by your own wits unaided, my hat is off to you. But I don’t believe that really works, not for an instant. The truth is that we are by nature social creatures, and only thrive in Community.

The good news here is that no one can do it alone, we all require each other to maintain inspiration and encouragement on a day-to-day basis. You help me, and I help you. Gratefully we aren’t all broken on the same day, and when my candle goes out, you light my candle with yours; when your candle goes out, I light your candle with mine. Neither of us loses anything by lighting the other’s candle; we just end up expanding the Light. And that is the profound beauty of Interdependence: When I accept the apparent paradox that I am responsible, but we cannot do it alone, I begin to understand that when we help each other, both of us flourish.

Here’s a concrete example of how this can unfold: I recently attended a conference that was pretty expensive, and full of very challenging information. It was a terrific conference, but it was difficult and almost too much information to absorb. We were all a little shell-shocked by the end of the first day.

I was heading out to dinner, when I realized I had left something back in my room. On the way back down the elevator, I shared the ride with one of the conference participants, who recognized me. He was very angry, frustrated with just about every aspect of the conference and the organization that put it on. We chatted for about half an hour, and by the end of the chat, he had calmed down considerably, and was ready to go back to his wife and spend a quiet evening with her. I felt I had done some good by “talking him down,” and went off to dinner very grateful, believing that I had been his “angel” that night.

The next day, I took a look around the room at the conference, and I couldn’t find my new friend. It was then I realized that I was not his angel, but rather he was mine. Although I had reached down to light his candle, the expanded Light helped me as much (or more) than it helped him. This is the magic of Interdependence: We help one another, and somehow both of us come out synergistically better than we were individually.

This expansion of Light is the point: Individually our lights may falter, but when we willingly reach out to assist each other, Light expands endlessly and we grow in the process. It is the willingness to experience this Growth that makes life so amazing, and leads us directly into the Spiritual Life.

It is said that we either grow or die, one or the other. We cannot live without growing, expanding our boundaries, pushing the envelope – and to avoid growing is the very definition of spiritual death.

To find the Willingness to continue growing closer to the ideals in the Universal Principles that govern life is, I believe, my highest calling. Such Spiritual Growth isn’t pretty: it’s not easy, it’s far from painless, and it’s uneven and halting at best. And Spiritual Growth is unending: We can’t EVER arrive. It is continual slow progress toward the unattainable.

Sounds awful, doesn’t it? Well, that’s where Interdependence comes in. We can’t do it alone. We must do it together, and encourage each other to stick to it as we continue to grow. And I can tell you from personal experience that although the process of Growth is difficult, there can be no Joy in life without it. The secret to finding true Joy in life is a willingness, day in and day out, to practice the process of Spiritual Growth, enduring the discomfort and frustration by helping one another. There is no other way to live Spiritually except by cultivating the willingness to practice Growth and Interdependence.

The good news is that because there is no attainment of the Universal Principles in this life, the goal is not to attain them! The goal, simply, is to practice. As long as I’m willing to practice, the Spiritual Life unfolds gradually and automatically – I’ve already arrived at the goal!

The result of such practice is an ever increasing awareness of personal responsibility, an ever greater Willingness to help and encourage others, and an unflinching Courage to face each day with Hope. And that, I believe, is the mother lode: By practicing the Spiritual life, I find Hope to continue with the process, no matter what challenges face me. And I grow larger and larger in the process. I have seen this Truth proven over and over again in the lives of others, and know with a certainty that it is also being proven in mine. I can see it in my own eyes, just as I’ve seen it in the eyes of others. I cannot deny the fact of the Spiritual Awakening that has resulted from the willingness to practice.

In the next post, I will discuss my own Spiritual Practice, which will almost certainly differ from yours. Somehow, we all get a part of the Truth, but none of us gets all of it. And that’s another reason why none of us can go it alone!

The Sword of the Spirit – Part 2: Motivations and Action

The word “spirit” comes from a Latin word meaning “breath.” As central to our lives as breathing, Spirit pervades us, gives us purpose, gives our lives meaning. Without it, we are “uninspired” (derived from the same Latin root), and life quickly ceases to be worth the effort.

In our culture (and in many cultures around the world), people have often sought meaning and purpose – life’s “Ultimate” goals – through the acquisition of riches, property, relationships, power, prestige, and fame. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but to seek the “Ultimate” in them is like bowling in the wrong lane. You may hit a hell of a lot of pins down, but none of them will count.

Actually, it’s like hunting for elk by fishing in the ocean. You may catch a hell of a lot of fish, but if you really want an elk, you’re doing the wrong thing, and looking in the wrong place. To find life’s Ultimate purpose and meaning, you must visit the realm of the Spirit, and cultivate a Spiritual Life.

Sound mysterious? I don’t think it needs to be as mysterious as many have made it out to be. It can be, but it doesn’t have to be. The Spiritual Life for me is nothing more than intentional effort expended toward personal growth, and an ever more profound interdependence with those around me.

Many make this process mystical, dressing it in supernatural phenomena, and it certainly can be pretty dang mysterious. Some make it religious, creating a belief system around this core human reality, and that’s okay too. But I am convinced that free of all unnecessary ornamentation, Spirit is simply a daily practice of Growth and Interdependence.

There are a number of principles that underlie the Spiritual Life. Many see them as “Laws,” and I believe it is healthy to look at them that way. Certainly to defy them frequently has negative consequences.

The list is long, and instructive in and of itself. Humility, Honesty, Willingness, Open-Mindedness, Perseverance, Courage, Wisdom, Love, Compassion, Generosity, Responsibility, Faith, Hope, Surrender – these are but a few of the signposts of spiritual living. I have a list of these qualities that I refer to in times of doubt; just reading the list is inspiring, and seldom fails to remind me of what is Ultimately important in life. Taken together, I can think of no better definition of God.

It is said that we are created in the image of God. that we are in reality spiritual beings having an earthly experience (and not the other way around). If that’s the truth. then I doubt we can do better in life than to direct ourselves toward becoming ever closer to the ideals in that list.

Let’s look at Humility for a moment. Do you think of God as humble? I do. God communicates in the softest of voices, often drowned out by the clamor of our daily lives. And as far as I can tell, God is so free of Ego that God doesn’t even seem to care whether you believe or not – the rain falls on both the believer and non-believer equally. It seems to me that in this realm “phenomena” and “dogma” are meaningless concepts. Nothing appears to matter more than motivations and actions.

Think of the words of Jesus, perhaps the most astounding teacher in history. Speaking about anger, He said, “I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder.” Clearly, in this context, the motivation means even more than the action.

But action is important too. He also says: “Knowing the correct password – saying 'Master, Master' for instance – isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience – doing what my Father wills.”

These two passages, taken from one of the most breathtaking sermons of all time, the Sermon on the Mount (“The Message” version), have deep spiritual meaning. Your good actions don’t mean anything unless your motivations are pure, and the best of motivations don’t mean anything unless they are accompanied by appropriate action.

You may disagree with my analysis here, and that is certainly your right. But the underlying principles, as near as I can tell, are universal: Treat people as you would have them treat you, and love your concept of “God” with all your heart and soul and mind (in other words, continually seek to grow more like God).

Jesus said that these two commandments sum up the law and the prophets. And I think Mohammed, Moses, Buddha and History's parade of Saints and Enlightened Ones would agree.

So what does this have to do with my business? A reasonable question. Let me answer by saying this: I have taken these two greatest commandments to heart, and any business I participate in must be in alignment with these Ultimate Principles, the “Laws” that govern Life. To understand my process and my mission, you must understand the importance of these Principles to me. In the next entry, I’ll talk about more about Spiritual Growth.

The Sword of the Spirit – Part 1: A Hole in the Soul

I’ve looked at the Mind. I’ve looked at the Body. Now let’s take a look at the Spirit.

As beaten as my Mind and Body were by that horrendous job I left last February, perhaps most wounded of all was my Spirit. I had lost all satisfaction from my life, and any sense of pleasure, or joy. I got up in the morning, did the necessaries, went to work, worked until well after dark, came home, ate in front of the TV, and then dozed and ate and watched TV until bed time. Then I got up and did it again the next day.

I know that many people these days relate to this bleak, workaholic lifestyle. In an age where middle managers have seen their staff cut to bare bones and been forced to pick up the slack, 60- to 80-hour workweeks are sadly common. Let me insert here emphatically that the human body is not designed to endure this kind of duress. No matter what your boss says, no matter what top management expects, no matter what the hot-shot career-building “experts” insist, there is a toll to pay for this kind of abuse. In Japan, it has a name - karoshi (death by overwork)

Back in 1988 only 4% of karoshi cases, filed by surviving families against the companies who employed their loved ones, were successful. These days, the figure is over 40%. Now I don’t think it’s a bad thing that companies are being held liable for abusive work conditions, but let me make my position on this complex issue clear: It takes two to tango.

Remember the underpinnings of The First Habit? “I am responsible.” If I keep in mind that I’m making decisions all the time about what I’m going to do next, I will come to the inevitable conclusion that no matter how bad my employers are treating me, no matter how impossible their expectations, no matter how badly they cut my staff, no matter how badly I think I need the job I’m in – let there be no mistake: If I continue to work in that position I am deciding to keep that job. Few bosses actually hold a gun to their employees’ heads, in which case a reluctance to leave would be justified. And that’s the point: In almost every case, what is holding an employee in an abusive job situation is his or her own fear. By continuing to work at an abusive job, I have in one way or another weighed the pros of steady income and creature comfort against the cons of fear of the unknown and the prospect of complete financial ruin, and decided that keeping the job is the better of two evils.

This is not to denigrate the poor working class, forced to accept meager jobs for subsistence (or below subsistence) wages. This is not to blame people of color, long held down by the vicious shackles of poverty and discrimination. But there have always been examples of people “trapped” in this way who have emerged to great Wealth – with a capital “W.” (And I am NOT talking about drug lords.) What distinguishes such people? I strongly believe it is a deep down acceptance of personal responsibility, and the willingness to persist against outrageous odds. And all of us can learn a lesson from such courage and commitment.

If I accept the premise that “I am responsible,” I will look for ways to change my situation to the best of my abilities. If those initial efforts fail, I will not take the failure personally. I will accept the fact that my first effort did not succeed, and see if there is a way to improve that effort. Then I will take the lesson learned and try again. If again I don’t succeed, I learn what I can from that attempt, apply the learning to creating a new plan, and try again. And so on.

The key, mentioned in the last paragraph, is that a commitment to personal responsibility creates an absolute unwillingness to take anything that happens in life personally. This requires a radical change of thinking for most of us, and an unsavory willingness to pocket our Pride. Our Egos cause more suffering in this life, I believe, than any other single source. But if I am willing to let go of my pitiful, easily wounded Ego and just persevere at my humble practice of trial and error, I can endure mountains of discomfort without losing my resolve.

I cannot stress enough the power of this. If I am unwilling to take personally anything that happens to me, failure is impossible. I will either succeed, or learn a lesson – both are good. I either get closer to my goal, or get a chance to bring the awesome power of my God-given brain to the matter of how I can make my next attempt more successful. Such an approach to life cannot fail, particularly when it is accompanied by a mental conviction that it will succeed.

This is the true message of “The Secret” and the Law of Attraction, so often mischaracterized and mysticiized. Wealth will not magically materialize in front of me because I “envision” it. It comes from the absolute conviction that I will be Wealthy, and the guts and determination to keep trying until it happens.

James Arthur Ray, in that groundbreaking book Harmonic Wealth, puts it like this: “Discipline brings excellence, and excellence brings freedom.” That quote rocks my world. As I practice the humble process of trying, failing, and trying again, I learn the secret to true Wealth: If I want to be Wealthy, I must be a big enough person to sustain True Wealth. To do that, I must be willing to grow. And that, my friends, is where Spirit comes in.

In the next post I’ll talk about the nature of Spiritual Life, about some of the ways I have nurtured my Spirit over the last few years, how I’ve renewed my attention to this crucial dimension of life in the last few months, and describe in detail why I am convinced that all of this talk about Spirit is absolutely essential in the arena of Wealth-building.

Now a Word from Our Sponsor: Ditching the TV

The habit of solitary eating and television I mentioned was well ingrained by the time I left my job. And while eating became part of my habit of solitary television, my use of the TV stands as one of the most persistent habits in my life. Cultivated over 50 years starting in the late 50s, this means of unwinding and relaxing was tattooed on my brain. In fact, short of medication, it seemed no other activity was quite as effective as this one at slowing down the constant chatter of my mind so that I could stop thinking so damn much.

Yes, I was a child of the late fifties and early sixties. Afternoon cartoons had started to become the de facto babysitter for children of my generation. I would eat in front of the TV, play in front of the TV, do homework in front of the TV, and relax with my family in front of the TV. No part of my life was spared its warm, flickering glow. I came to associate such odd things as safety, security, peace, and contentment with that glow, and seldom found those things elsewhere. When it was turned off, my mom and dad were too busy yelling at each other for the experience of “peace” to persist.

Now, fifty years later, I’m faced with a dilemma. An activity that reliably allows my mind to rest has become such an addiction that the prospect of living without it is unthinkable.

Gratefully, there came the advent of “reality” television, an appellation so obviously and tooth-grindingly inaccurate that I was finally able to look at the role of this Beast in my life. I will forever be grateful to such shows as “Fear Factor,” “Extreme Makeover,” and “Cheaters” for waking me up to the deplorable depths to which broadcast television had sunk. Sadly, my abuse continued until one day a couple of months ago, when I suddenly and shamefacedly awoke to the fact that I had been watching a “Family Guy” marathon for about four hours. The sheer magnitude of all the precious time I had spent slack-jawed and motionless in front of that seductive blue glow became crystal clear, as if I’d finally gotten the “rabbit ears” pointed in the right direction. Enough was enough. My oldest friend had to go.

I began by eliminating the digital cable. Gone not only was HBO (which I paid for but seldom watched), but also the soothing digital radio channels with its newsy, constantly changing tidbits of information about the music that was playing. Also gone was the constant reminder of the current time, which beamed helpfully (if accusingly) from the face of my digital cable box.

Then I got rid of the “extended” basic package. Gone were the various Discovery channels, including the exceptionally seductive Investigation Discovery, with its marathon, soul-depleting reenactments of grisly murders. Gone were Court TV, MSNBC, Comedy Central, and E! Entertainment Television.

Finally, I was ready. Surprisingly (or not surprisingly, perhaps) my cable company hardly knew what to do with my request to eliminate all but Internet Service from my account. “Are you sure you don’t want just the basic package?” I was adamant. They eventually complied, evidently necessitating a physical visit to the property to complete the disconnection – obviously what they were trying to avoid.

On my own now for the first time in fifty years, I adapted to life without my comforting little friend. It was (embarrassingly) the animated adult feature programs I missed the most, which caused the greatest withdrawal pangs. South Park, that profane and hilarious late-night program that had lulled me to sleep for many years – gone. The Simpsons reruns, always a staple during mealtime – gone. Family Guy, the show that proved I was going over the edge to oblivion – gone. I was left to survive by my own wits unaided.

I immediately transferred my addiction to the Internet. If you didn’t laugh just then, you should have - it’s pretty funny. YouTube became my new friend, the “methadone” to my TV addiction as my withdrawals continued.

Fortunately, the somnambulant, drooling idiocy of many of the YouTube entries allowed me to release even this trailing end to my addiction. Now a month or so free, I fill my evenings and off-hours with music, Internet Radio, reading, writing, walking, cleaning the house, going out to events with people, doing volunteer work, visiting friends, and an occasional DVD. In other words, with living.

I don’t miss the TV any more. I hardly ever think about “South Park” at bed time, nor about “The Simpsons” at dinner time. I don’t miss the shame of suddenly realizing that I’ve been watching Court TV for six hours and the day has evaporated; I don’t miss the utter degradation of “Family Guy” marathons.

Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with TV (although many would disagree). But for me it was a slippery slope to inaction and complacency. These, my greatest nemeses, will always find some way to draw me into their soft, soothing arms. The First Habit, “Be Proactive,” is too important for it to be compromised by an armchair and the siren call of television’s inane blather. I must keep moving on a path that actually works.

Enough already – now even to Blog about the Beast bores me! It’s time to get back into Action.