Now a Word from Our Sponsor: Ditching the TV

The habit of solitary eating and television I mentioned was well ingrained by the time I left my job. And while eating became part of my habit of solitary television, my use of the TV stands as one of the most persistent habits in my life. Cultivated over 50 years starting in the late 50s, this means of unwinding and relaxing was tattooed on my brain. In fact, short of medication, it seemed no other activity was quite as effective as this one at slowing down the constant chatter of my mind so that I could stop thinking so damn much.

Yes, I was a child of the late fifties and early sixties. Afternoon cartoons had started to become the de facto babysitter for children of my generation. I would eat in front of the TV, play in front of the TV, do homework in front of the TV, and relax with my family in front of the TV. No part of my life was spared its warm, flickering glow. I came to associate such odd things as safety, security, peace, and contentment with that glow, and seldom found those things elsewhere. When it was turned off, my mom and dad were too busy yelling at each other for the experience of “peace” to persist.

Now, fifty years later, I’m faced with a dilemma. An activity that reliably allows my mind to rest has become such an addiction that the prospect of living without it is unthinkable.

Gratefully, there came the advent of “reality” television, an appellation so obviously and tooth-grindingly inaccurate that I was finally able to look at the role of this Beast in my life. I will forever be grateful to such shows as “Fear Factor,” “Extreme Makeover,” and “Cheaters” for waking me up to the deplorable depths to which broadcast television had sunk. Sadly, my abuse continued until one day a couple of months ago, when I suddenly and shamefacedly awoke to the fact that I had been watching a “Family Guy” marathon for about four hours. The sheer magnitude of all the precious time I had spent slack-jawed and motionless in front of that seductive blue glow became crystal clear, as if I’d finally gotten the “rabbit ears” pointed in the right direction. Enough was enough. My oldest friend had to go.

I began by eliminating the digital cable. Gone not only was HBO (which I paid for but seldom watched), but also the soothing digital radio channels with its newsy, constantly changing tidbits of information about the music that was playing. Also gone was the constant reminder of the current time, which beamed helpfully (if accusingly) from the face of my digital cable box.

Then I got rid of the “extended” basic package. Gone were the various Discovery channels, including the exceptionally seductive Investigation Discovery, with its marathon, soul-depleting reenactments of grisly murders. Gone were Court TV, MSNBC, Comedy Central, and E! Entertainment Television.

Finally, I was ready. Surprisingly (or not surprisingly, perhaps) my cable company hardly knew what to do with my request to eliminate all but Internet Service from my account. “Are you sure you don’t want just the basic package?” I was adamant. They eventually complied, evidently necessitating a physical visit to the property to complete the disconnection – obviously what they were trying to avoid.

On my own now for the first time in fifty years, I adapted to life without my comforting little friend. It was (embarrassingly) the animated adult feature programs I missed the most, which caused the greatest withdrawal pangs. South Park, that profane and hilarious late-night program that had lulled me to sleep for many years – gone. The Simpsons reruns, always a staple during mealtime – gone. Family Guy, the show that proved I was going over the edge to oblivion – gone. I was left to survive by my own wits unaided.

I immediately transferred my addiction to the Internet. If you didn’t laugh just then, you should have - it’s pretty funny. YouTube became my new friend, the “methadone” to my TV addiction as my withdrawals continued.

Fortunately, the somnambulant, drooling idiocy of many of the YouTube entries allowed me to release even this trailing end to my addiction. Now a month or so free, I fill my evenings and off-hours with music, Internet Radio, reading, writing, walking, cleaning the house, going out to events with people, doing volunteer work, visiting friends, and an occasional DVD. In other words, with living.

I don’t miss the TV any more. I hardly ever think about “South Park” at bed time, nor about “The Simpsons” at dinner time. I don’t miss the shame of suddenly realizing that I’ve been watching Court TV for six hours and the day has evaporated; I don’t miss the utter degradation of “Family Guy” marathons.

Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with TV (although many would disagree). But for me it was a slippery slope to inaction and complacency. These, my greatest nemeses, will always find some way to draw me into their soft, soothing arms. The First Habit, “Be Proactive,” is too important for it to be compromised by an armchair and the siren call of television’s inane blather. I must keep moving on a path that actually works.

Enough already – now even to Blog about the Beast bores me! It’s time to get back into Action.